Just another shitty evening in Irvine

I hate to be a downer, but this is going to be one of those long complaining notes about a night turned very, very sour.

I.

I left Cynthia’s last night around 12:30 and while driving down Campus heading toward Jamboree, I noticed that my trunk was open as I was driving. I freaked out, and pulled right on Carlson, parking and putting on my emergency lights. I got out and sobbed aloud as I saw my laptop and camera strewn on the side of the road about 100 feet from me, near the corner of Campus and Carlson (I put my camera and laptop in my trunk so that they’d “be safe,” ironically enough. I ran down there, grabbed them and put my laptop in the trunk, while keeping my camera bag on my shoulder… why I kept my camera on me, is beyond my comprehension, but I did.

This man in a taxi pulled over and told me that I had a minute to call my mom/AAA but that he was in a rush. So, I sat in his car, put down my camera bag, called my mom in a panic and then before she even knew where I was, I had to hang up and get out. The taxi pulled away into the abyss.

Two guys smoking pot then pulled up to help (God bless the potheads) and let me call my mom. She called AAA, 40 minutes later they pulled up and I was back on my way to Tustin.

II.

I pulled up my apartment’s driveway 20 minutes later only to see two Hispanic men, one shirtless and one in a wife-beater on top of each other, in in the middle of the driveway near the steps up to my studio. They could have been fighting or making love, but I assumed it was the former and so I slowly reversed the car, parking out in the street. Flashes of No Country for Old Men popped into my head and sobbing I called Cynthia for advice. I ended up calling the cops, but they didn’t show up. I decided to suck it up and make a dash back to my apartment, seeing that they were gone. I felt completely crazy.

III.

I woke up this morning and went out to get my laptop, which was in the back of the car. My camera wasn’t there however, and I realized, in one horrific moment that I left it in the taxi cab the night before. A LOT of weeping followed.

IV.

I am now at the library and my laptop, of course, won’t turn on due to “an inability to read the adapter.”

Welcome back to Irvine.

To Do Ta Da

This week is going to be a lot of fun though extremely packed with events and “to-dos”.  I’m looking forward to it a lot though, despite how tense and stressed I feel right now.  It’ll be so rewarding to go to bed in a decorated and finished apartment all to myself, with my life temporarily arranged as I like it.  All will once again be under my control and completely out of control.  I’m definitely a little more than on edge and I feel like a runner, backed up against the spring waiting for the gun to fire.

Highlights to look forward to this following week:

• “The Fly” with Steven and David tomorrow night.

• Sunday– organizing and packing my car with as much stuff as I can fit.

• Monday– opening up a savings account, paying first month’s, and driving to my new studio where I will unpack, arrange, and fix what I can before I’m due at school.

• First official Creative Connections meeting where I will take my place as Creative Connection’s official photographer.

• Meetings, rehearsals, interviews, gym-going, therapist-searching and practicing throughout the week, along with a no-bullshit job hunt.

• Knott’s Scary Farm on Thursday night!

• Tara’s “20’s Mystery Murder” party  (I seriously have the BEST costume, right out of Nana’s closet.)

• A long day of hauling the rest of my stuff to my studio, including my new stunted fridge, microwave and TV center!

• Steven and Rachelle’s much-awaited housewarming.  I think I’ll bring them a chia pet.

• Sunday, organizing my place in hopes that I can go to bed with everything finished!

The only thing that’ll blow for a little while, is not having any TV or internet at home. Though, I seriously think it’ll make me 1000 times more productive, since when I go home it’ll force me to study and I will spend a lot less time just sitting on Facebook and/or watching “Celebrities Without Makeup.”

Now it’s all about waiting for the gun to fire on Monday….

Startling realizations and not-so-startling realizations

I had a startling realization this morning that I look like a sloth… not symbolically but literally. My neck is sort of fading into my face right now and the mouth and eyes are oddly similar, aside from color. I’ve put on 5 pounds in a week from eating out at every meal, including two late-night trips to Bob’s Big Boy and I’m feeling rather ill from it all. I know it isn’t classy to talk about weight and I do it WAY too much, but I personally love those stars that always obsess about it and go up and down, mainly because they make me feel better about my lot. Scott told me the other day though, “Just eat tofu and carrots or stop complaining to me about it.” I don’t blame him– it’ definitely obsessive and annoying to listen to.

I’m tired of doing photography… I have a shoot Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday and I’m a little worn out from the whole ordeal. I use and quit hobbies like underwear. The shoot with Belinda went well though! I’m doing a “feminine” shoot and a “1940s” shoot this week, so I’m happy that I’m at least getting some diversity in.

Anyhow, in other news, my Nana is giving me all my birthday presents early as predicted… I feel like my birthday is a little like Hanukkah; I always get a gift per day leading up to the event. I set off for Burning Man in exactly one week from today which is terrifying. My mom scared me yesterday with porta-potty horror stories so I’m kind of worried. I need to get stuff done today though– I have a huge list of things I need to buy and accomplish before Sunday.

Scott drunk called me about 10 times and left me 3 messages on Friday night when I was out with Steven and his boo. I sent him two pretty emo texts at the end of the night about how he has people that care about him only because he sounded REALLY depressed and mentioned that he was drunk driving. The next day he called me for a 1 min. conversation in which he told me that my texts were too over-the-top and emotional, and how he didn’t remember calling me at all. I love how I’m the one who always feels like an ass.

In funnier news, my brother is vacationing in Sodona with my Dad & Co. this week, which is apparently turning out to be a disaster. The creek that he has been swimming in for the past week was shut down yesterday because E. Coli was found in it, and on top of that a dam broke near the Grand Canyon so they can’t make their final stop there… the E. Coli thing cracks me up especially, even though it’s “not funny.”

Leah left to Italy to meet up with Sleezy on other news so I won’t see her for a year. I wonder if she’ll have Italian babies someday…

I am on a creative roll

A couple of new creations, plus I wrote a song and painted three new paintings… WOOO. Social isolation does WONDERS. I’m getting happier and happier with my photography too, though mainly my Photoshoping skills. Hopefully in a few more months I will have a new: tripod, lens cap, lens and lighting kit.

does anyone else think maggie needs some reconstructive surgery?

I hate to be mean because I love her acting; but after seeing her in “Dark Night” I couldn’t help wishing that Maggie’s face wasn’t so… saggy. She’s looking an awful lot like a St. Bernard these days.

Tomorrow I head out to the beach with my brother and his two friends. I don’t know how I got conned into being nanny Danielle, but it happened. Hopefully Leah comes so when I’m declared “uncool” by my brother and consequently ditched for the day, I won’t be sitting alone, frying on the beach for 8 hours.

I watched Bachelor and the Bobbysoxer yesterday with Nana and decided that it’s time to start watching more old movies. I’m never dissapointed with a classic film, and especially ones with Carrey Grant. That is this week’s new goal: to watch three old movies each week (along with losing 2 pounds.)

Speaking of blubber, weight loss is so laughably hard I could cry (or start a meth habit). I’ve been working out an hour a day and until today I had been eating well until I binged on three slices of bread with tuna and some chocolate chips. Story of my life. Tomorrow is NOT going to be a weigh-in day. The scale can screw itself.

Meanwhile, I’ve been working on my photography, trying to put together an ad campaign to gain more interest in headshots and the like. My goal is to set up an interesting looking Myspace (eventually a website), get thousands of friends, develop new flyers for the school-year and organize some more photoshoots. Here’s one ad I did… I’m still debating over the font.

Since Scott lost my iPod, my birtday present in September is bound to be a new one, though I’m thinking of manipulating my way into getting a new lens or some equipment. Sadly, photography is not a cheap hobby: the lens I want is $600, and so I’m thinking of having my family start a fund for holidays where all I receive is money for photography stuff….

Geez, I need to stop thinking about “stuff” so much. My life is becoming so shallow and Bravo-ized. I need direction, focus, a job, a respectable lover, cash flow, good grades, clear skin, better morale, motivation, self-pride, and of course, as my dad told me in a letter, “soul.”

I figure that will come with a new lens and flash gear.

serial killers & fudgescicles: random musings

No one cares if you lose 5lbs… not even 10. When you tell someone that you’ve “lost 10 lbs” they just sort of look at you, apologetically, thinking about all the times you’ve lost ten pounds. Even 20 pounds for me is ridiculously subtle because I’m an Amazon woman. Only other weight-obsessed people notice and are pissed off.

I had a great “photo shoot” with this gorgeous girl, Elaine from high school. I’m pleased with the outcome, even though the only people who commented on my Facebook album were Dr. Taylor and my mom… Edwin Serrano (the stereotypical short, angry kid who rides around on a scooter and relies on his artistic abilities to gain fame) complimented me on my lighting though, which must count for something. Now I KNOW I’m legit!

I dog-sat this weekend and came to the realization that I’m secretly afraid of animals. I mean, I love pets but there’s always an underlying fear that a dog is going to turn on me and bite my face off while I’m petting it. My mom is to blame for this, of course. I remember as a kid, having her scream at me while petting animals and freaking out. It’s now deeply embedded in my psyche like my fear of serial killers… (my mom used to tell me stories about the Night Stalker, Richard Ramirez who ripped out little old ladies’ eye balls when I was around 8. She claimed to have seen him outside her window and she told me that he killed people in yellow and blue houses… our house is bright blue.)

I had this CRAZY dream last night that I was a stand-up comedian, and I sucked. I also had a dream that I was grocery shopping in Russia with these two guys who were both madly in love with me. I was a midget in this last dream, and really, really hideous. (I watched this show on this midget who was getting married to the man of her dreams– maybe that’s why).

*section taken out* (secretive, eh?)

Jesus Christ, I need a fudgescicle.